We took our places on stage. Thirty two very nervous high school students were getting ready for what was the most exciting experience of our high school careers. The curtains were closed but, we could here the audience cheering and awaiting our performance. I was standing front row in the center with my eyes closed waiting to feel the rush of performing. The curtains went up. I opened my eyes as the spot lights shined over all of us. The conductor prepared the band. I heard the first note on the piano as the crowd awaited to here me sing my solo. I began singing and the notes poured out of my vocal chords so smoothly.
This was the one place in the world i felt to most comfortable: A stage. The place were i could portray something beautiful. Being involved in music has helped me to really come out of my shell. Whether I was acting out a scene from a broadway musical or being part of a group that came together to produce a wonderful show. Some people feel a rush when skydiving or on a rollercoaster. I feel the same rush, not in the way were i'm plunging to my death, but in the feeling i get when fifty people are on stage singing a song. It is obvious that everyone has a different voice. Everyone has different tambors, but the artform is when those fifty people with there fifty different voices come together and unite to create a beautiful sound which is music. Showchoir had to be my favorite part of my career in music so far. Showchoir is a choir who put together a compilation of five or six songs that revolve around the same theme. This theme is then portrayed by acting out these scenes through song and dance.
During my senior year of high school was the year were showchoir was my life. I was dance captain, i had the opening solo for our show, younger members of the group looked up to me for advice and suggestions. Whenever we went to competitions, members and intructors of other groups knew who I was. Not because they knew me my whole life, but because they recognized my love for the artform and dedication that I had towards my group.
Showchoir competitions are not competitive in the way a sports team would be, were all they do is put their team on a pedestal and every other team is the enemy. Showchoir groups are very supportive of each other at competitions because they know how much hard work and dedication each group goes through when putting together there show. This is why there is always a sense of unity and good sportsmanship at competitions.
In short, showchoir was one of my personal experiences with music and artform. Only someone who works with a group at the beginning of a season and watches it grow, sees the show come to life can truly say they know and understand the hard work and dedication it takes to be part of a group like this.
A great choice of topic for your arts theme, of course. Your focus seems to be to explain the value of show choir and something about its culture (in a way this could easily be an ethnography topic). A resonant line: "This was the one place in the world i felt to most comfortable: A stage." This suggests that other places were not quite so comfortable (and you might want to make more of that, depending on what you decide is the main point you want to make here).
ReplyDeleteWhat I like to see here is more detail. (I do like the start with you backstage--seems like an effective way to draw the reader into the tension, excitement.) You've got wonderful, rich material--let us see more of what it's like to perform. Depending on what you decide is your focus here, I'd suggest narrowing this to a particular performance or rehearsal (or perhaps a series of snapshots in words that show the progress of a number). If you want to focus on how show choir let you be a leader, and what that leadership meant, what you learned from the experience, etc., then you might focus on an experience where that leadership was tested or demonstrated. But in any event, please *use* your insider knowledge to *show* (no pun intended!) us what it's like to be part of such a group, not just tell us.
I'm anxious to hear more about it!
(In terms of grammar stuff, this is pretty clean: a few frags and run-ons, and watch out for spelling in proofreading--there/their and where/were.)